Les Enfants Terribles

Official Language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement


whereby English will be the official language of the


European Union rather than German, which was the other


possibility.


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded


that English spelling had some room for improvement and has


accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as


"Euro-English".


In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,


this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard


"c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up


konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year


when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This


will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.


In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan


be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated


changes are possible.


Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters


which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.


Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in


the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.


By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as


replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v" as vel as changing

"ng" for "n".

Durin ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords


kontainin "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil


sensibl riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find


it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil


finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey


vunted in ze forst plas.


If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

_________________
baka

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